FITOOR a Review

Directed by : Abhishek Kapoor

Produced by : Abhishek Kapoor Siddharth Roy Kapoor

Written by : Abhishek Kapoor, Supratik Sen

Starring : Tabu, Aditya Roy Kapoor, Katrina Kaif

Music by : Amit Trivedi, Komail Shayan

I was planning to watch Deadpool but my uncle insisted on watching Fitoor. My Uncle Dickens is a writer and always decides these complicated matters with a toss. And without failing, he always wins. After every such loss, I wonder what would have happened to Veeru’s (remember Sholay) coin after he was killed. So, I occupied my seat to watch Fitoor with Uncle Dickens beside me. The opening scene no doubt surprised me and gave an impression that this time I would be proved to be a Baazigar (haar ke jitnewale ko Baazigar kehte hain na). Half an hour in the movie and Uncle Dickens started his great observations. He asked, “Yaar! Why does it seem like an immature Vishal Bhardwaj Film? Never-mind, maybe it’s hangover of Haider, Kashmir, snow and Tabu.”

I waited for hours and hours (that makes two hours, the length of the film) for the film to move but it denied me that pleasure. Maybe the film’s budget was a constraint on the length of the film reel used. I can’t find any other sane argument. Our poor hero Noor falls in love with a super rich heiress’ daughter Firdaus when they were children. After some child’s play Firdaus is sent to London by her mother to study. Noor is a gifted artist and when he becomes an adult he is funded to go to Delhi to work as an artist, by a mysterious man. There he meets an adult Firdaus who is engaged to a Pakistani Politician. The Scientific Principle “Pyar Kiya Nahin Jaata Ho Jaata Hai” is followed here religiously (oh! Science and Religion, profound.)  Neither I nor Uncle Dickens was able to find out how or when or why the couple falls in love with each other.

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The next observation Uncle Dickens made was stranger than the first one. He asked, “is Tabu portraying the role of Kiron Kher?” I didn’t know what to say. Tabu tries too hard to present herself as a mysterious woman but is abandoned by the script. Katrina is still merely beautiful and Aditya Roy Kapoor is still the brother of Siddhartha Roy Kapoor. In a scene where Aditya tries to kiss her, she resists and says, “Nahin Mujhe Jaana Hai” by her weird expression it seems, she has to go to the toilet. The surprise in the opening scene comes again but, this time, is not surprising at all.

Uncle Dickens didn’t stop there and his next observation was mind blowing. He said, “yaar! Listen to the dialogues. They remind me of Mausam and Roy (Roy? Yes, where producers cheated Ranbir Kapoor).” This time, I understood his feelings and reciprocated. You will also understand what he was saying when you listen to the dialogues. Some of the gems I can’t resist telling you

Firdaus: kahan ja rahe hain hum?

Noor: saalon se pichhe sitaaron Se aage. (saalon means years. Don’t confuse)

Next one:

Noor: Maine tumhe qaid Kar Liya hai (after clicking a pic).

Firdaus: Mujhe laga tum Mujhe azaad karoge.

Noor: khud se Azadi to maut deti hai ya Ishq.

There are several such invaluable gems embedded in the story. Oh! The story, I completely forgot about that. Someone from the crew (most probably a spot boy), just before the last half hour, reminded the director that we are making a film based on a novel but it was too late then. In haste, he tries to incorporate the novel into the film during the last half hour but fails to connect. Good music and a very good camerawork doesn’t come to the rescue.

On our way out Uncle Dickens was sad and heart-broken and in a low tone said I came to watch this film with “GREAT EXPEXTATIONS”.

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